It could stay this simple.

2012-01-19T22:30:00.005+08:00

Princesses, pirate ships and the 7 dwarves.

Every time I go to my blog, the counter shows a digit that is more than 1. I really wonder who reads this space, but to those who are reading this right now, I hope you're in the best of health. Here's a nice flower for you. ☀

(Currently rapping to Lose Yourself like a boss.)

When I was much younger, and internet wasn’t a first option to search for song lyrics, I would play my CDs and put the songs on hold every now and then to jot down the words just so I could sing along the next time it’s on replay. I had a book for song lyrics, no kidding. And yes, I'm aware of how random I just got.

Things I’ve been up to of late:
1. Never-ending school work (What’s new…)
2. Completed reading a book minutes ago

"It's okay to cry. Everyone who cries recovers. It's alright to be sad, even mad, downright angry for a short time. These emotions can heal, too. Just not by themselves." – The Cross Gardener, Jason F. Wright

This book is thought-provoking, and it’s so beautifully-written that I couldn’t resist reading it at every opportunity I get. There's an endless list of reasons as to why I love to read and having a book to widen my perspective of life is one of them. :')

The long weekend spells mugging, a nice date, and a whole day at work.
May you have a splendid one! :)

2012-01-17T21:40:00.001+08:00

You and I.

Me: "You, me, dinner?"
Him: "You're gonna have dinner with a soldier. Haha."
Me: "More than honoured to do so. :)"
Him: "Then it's a date. :)"

Little things like this instantly brighten up my day. :')

2012-01-12T16:09:00.000+08:00

"Happiness is the real sense of fulfillment that comes from hard work."

The weekend is finally approaching, hurray to that! This week’s been pretty exhausting – days and nights revolving around school work. Thanks to The Boy, of course, my Monday was spent doing something other than those projects and whatnot. Thank you, sweetheart.

Despite being weighed down by the pressure to complete the never-ending workload, I’ve been receiving pretty good news these few days. Got an ‘A’ for law paper and public relations paper each! The euphoria instantly made me forget about the taxing routine for a while. Alhamdulillah. :’)

We had our Advertising & Brand Management presentation earlier at 12pm and it went really well. Mrs. Bosco complimented our presentation and that immediately got us all in a state of contentment and joy. And again, it really made us forget about the stress that we were being put in hours before the presentation began. Alhamdulillah for that too. :’)

Now I’m gonna give myself a treat with a nice movie on my ever-so-comfortable bed.

2012-01-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

I miss you dearly.

2012-01-09T23:36:00.004+08:00

Everyday may not be good,
but there is something good in everyday.

Expectations and happiness are inversely-related, I feel.

Sometimes, when I do not expect anything from anyone or anything, the day ends better than expected. Today is a fine example.

While being put in the misery of brain-straining, I received a call. It was him, saying that he was at the entrance of my school. It has been a long while since I received such calls, so you can imagine how delighted I was. The speed of every action instantly increased as the excitement built up.

His face… the smile on his face is still etched in my mind. The last time I safeguarded such images in my mind – him, standing by his bike, looking up, while I walk briskly to him – was probably 2 months ago.

The wonderful evening led to an even awesome night. The walk on the jetty, the strong breeze, the full moon and the substantial conversation – the atmosphere and the setting synched perfectly as though everything conspired to offer the best they could for our date.

Moments like that are golden. Believe it or not, moments like that are when the feelings I have for him grow stronger. The way he looked me in the eyes, stroked my hair, brought me out of my comfort zone to see things from a brand new perspective and strengthened my belief in so many things in life.

Alhamdulillah, the day was wrapped up far better than what I had imagined. I can foresee myself smiling to sleep tonight. And I shall pray for the butterflies to last forever.

2012-01-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

Nobody said it will be easy.

I’m aware that some things in life are beyond control. As much as I try to stay away from what’s already written Up There, I’m in no position to defy fate. As much as I would love to spend the coming days with the people I love, I have zero power to freeze the entire human race just so I can have the earth revolving around us. As much as I wish the pictures that I have conjured in my head would come true, if it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be.

That’s how it rolls, and I just have to deal with it despite the agony in my heart. Albeit crying is never a solution to a problem, these tears always find a way to emerge from where it should have remained.

Waiting is exhausting, but because patience is virtue, I will persist.

2012-01-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

'Cos even the stars they burn.

Before I came into this blank space, I was bombarded with a myriad of thoughts, emotions and ideas gushing at all possible angles, but the moment I’m here, everything narrows down to a single thought. The massive confusion disintegrated into insignificant fragments and it seems as though all the feelings unified into something that is close to being indifferent and numb.

My mind’s been pretty distraught these few days and it is bizarre how I can’t seem to find the reason why. I blame it on school most of the time.

“Too many things to do, too little time.”

“It’s just the taxing routine taking its toll on me.”

More often than not, I succumb to the bleakness of the undefined situation. The rest of the time, I just sleep it off; in the hopes that as soon as I wake up, I sink into a realisation that everything was nothing but a dream. There’s nothing more ironic than telling people to not let their sadness wins, but here I am, doing the opposite.

2012-01-05T22:56:00.002+08:00

Distorted.

I wish, from the very start, it’s implanted in our minds that despite coming in different heights, shapes and sizes, every single one of the human race is beautiful; that the media wouldn’t get in the way of our perception of what true beauty is; that the society wouldn’t be screwed up and that people quit judging; that beauty contests cease to exist because everyone has to start realizing that you don’t have to look like those ladies behind the cameras to feel beautiful; that insecurities do not creep up to us at night before we turn in; that no one can deprive us from the right to believe that we are beautiful in our own ways.

2012-01-02T12:09:00.002+08:00

"It's not about forcing happiness.

It's about not letting the sadness wins."

It’s the second day of 2012 now, oh how time flies.

Despite the ups and downs in 2011, praises to God, most of the days were pretty blessed. The challenges were there for a reason: to strengthen my faith and shape me into someone who’s able to overcome the hurdles in life – the little ones and the huge.

My resolutions?

To be a better Muslim, a better daughter, a better lover, and a better friend.

Some pictures of yesterday:

A great start to the New Year. :')

2011-12-27T16:39:00.001+08:00

It could stay this simple.

2011-12-25T12:11:00.003+08:00

4 5683 968.

Despite the downpour, the day out with The Boy was splendid. It’s been a while since we took the public transport together and boy, it felt really good to be able to talk and laugh during the journey to our destinations.

We indulged in good food at Sakura @ Clementi for lunch, headed to his house for a bit and then to his sister’s house for a short visit. Played with the little monster, who was extremely adorable and smart! Geram tengok dia!

The amount of fun I had was immeasurable. :')

2011-12-20T00:11:00.003+08:00

Wonderstruck.

It’s the beginning of a brand new week again, praises to God. Last week was a blast, despite the absence of the dearest Boy, who was out in the jungle for 6 days straight. Cliché as it sounds (but clichés always and somehow make sense), no one should ever underestimate the power of a positive mindset.

Last week was more composed than how I imagined it to be. Instead of being emotionally-screwed up, I was rather calm and was in the right mind most of the time. Alhamdulillah. In fact, last week spelled a lot of new beginnings!

1. I took my first practical and it was pretty fine, despite me being nervous as I held on to the steering wheel. Thank God for granting me a kind instructor who had an enormous amount of patience for me.

2. I went for a job interview and I got hired! Since Breeks & Seoul Garden will be doing some expansion and beautification for the coming 8 months, I decided to hunt for an alternative instead of making MRT trips to other outlets. It’s kind of sad to leave the place of 2 years, but I am really excited to work at the new workplace (which I shall not reveal now hehe.)

3. It was the first time in weeks that I pulled through the previous week without shedding a tear. Being emotionally-sensitive has its downsides and being able to overcome this is definitely something I am really proud of!

4. The Boy and I went to a wedding together for the very first time! It was Rye’s sister’s wedding and we were invited. (Thanks Rye for the invitation!) Only when we sat after taking our plates of yummy Briyani, the realisation of having a virgin trip to a Majlis Persandingan together hit me. And it turned out that he was having the exact same thoughts at the exact same time! Despite being drenched in the rain while riding home, I had a really good time on Sunday, with him and the rest of the ex-colleagues. I really do. :’)

And as usual, I'm looking forward to the weekend.
Have a good week, everyone!

2011-12-14T13:09:00.005+08:00

I love the riddles that you speak.

Since the start of 2011 I've: (in bold)

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Been on a long car/bus journey.
Passed an exam.
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl .
Received flowers.
Written a letter using pen & paper.
Gone to see a therapist.
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Travelled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Had a BBQ
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Been the only sober one on a night out.
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news.
Watched some kind of live sporting event.
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week.
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people.
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in my past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Thrown up.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

This made me realise that a lot of things did transpire in the course of me thinking that the year is passing by real quick. And for all that happened, I have no regrets.

The Boy's having his field camp this week and for all the 6 days he's in the jungle, he's void of all means of communication with us here. His mom lent me a box of 14 CDs of a Korean show to distract myself. Hahaha.

Gonna have my first prac later! :>

2011-12-08T11:40:00.003+08:00

So don't you worry your pretty little mind,

people throw rocks at things that shine.

Taylor Swift's new MV, Ours, warms my heart, knowing that I'm not alone. An MV I can truly relate.

I have decided not to be affected by all the negative comments people make about her (or anyone in particular) because everyone is entitled to their own opinions. With the already screwed up society of how people judge at the littlest things about anyone, everywhere and every single time, I figured I might as well not give a hoot.

Definitely looking forward to the weekends. :)

2011-12-06T22:36:00.004+08:00

Story of my (recent) life.

Under intense pressure = Take scissors

Take scissors = Cut hair

Cut hair = Unhappy + Regrets

Unhappy + Regrets = Go to the salon to get a proper trim

Go to the salon = Shorter than expected

Shorter than expected = More unhappiness + Regrets

Oh well, I'll wait for 'em bangs to grow. In the meantime, I shall just embrace it.

Moral of the story: Stay away from scissors to avoid unnecessary drama.

2011-12-04T16:57:00.002+08:00

Breakaway.

Tempers flared and voiced blared. People breaking down in a corner of the hallway. Mental distress. Verbal war. Emotions on a top speed roller coaster ride. Just one more week for all of us to endure before the term break begins.

And every Sunday, I pray that you don't have to go.

2011-11-27T20:17:00.003+08:00

In your arms.

Aside from studying and working on projects, the weekend was filled with immeasurable happiness. Unspoken words uttered, unexpressed feelings poured out, and mostly, filling in each other with the things that had happened in the course of each other’s absence. Everything compressed in just a day and a half.

Every single second was treasured. ♥

2011-11-24T14:53:00.006+08:00

You're my smile when I just want to cry,

make it all better as you kiss my sad eyes.

A quote by Bob Marley:

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face.

In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Every single word, I could relate. How can I not miss you? ♥

2011-11-20T18:33:00.001+08:00

PROJECT OVERLOAD!

On a sidenote, The Boy's booking out this Friday! Excited much! :>

2011-11-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

Eleven minutes.

Just now, I had by far the longest phone call with The Boy.

NIK: I love you.

Me: I love you too.

Coincidentally, together: So much.

:')

2011-11-07T00:56:00.005+08:00

Strong faith.

It’s hilarious how we started. When I first met you, I still remember how hostile I was towards you; that in my mind, I knew we would never step beyond the boundaries of friendship. Truth be told, I never thought that one day, you would mean this much to me.

Nature took its course. In between conversations and laughter, I fell for you. We’ve talked about how young we were and that, if it’s meant to be, somehow, God’s willing, we’ll end up together. We both know that as much as we would love to work things out, shit may happen in between. We were completely aware of how naïve we both were; how it may not be the right time to be in a relationship, how deluded we were, and how blinded we both may be by infatuation. It’s a huge risk, but it’s a risk that both of us were willing to take when we made a pact to let our friendship blossom into something special.

We’ve been dreading the 8th of November ever since the letter of enlistment got into your hands. Time waits for no one, and as much as we hope that everything is just a dream, reality isn’t as simple as we wished it would be. We foresee a challenging year ahead, but if we charge ourselves with a positive mindset, I assure you, sweetheart, we’ll be just fine. The only transformation that we may see is how you, my dear, will transform from the boy you are now into a man your parents (and I) will be so proud of.

People may find us magnifying this whole issue, but no one feels it better and bitter like we both do. Don’t you worry about how I’ll be, for I’ll probably be bombarded with tons of projects and assignments when you’re in, studying for my driving tests or attending my practical lessons, spending time with my family or girlfriends whom I have a lot to catch up with, or just missing you. We’ll be fine, God’s willing.

And you, Noh Iskandariah Bin Khosnen, will be fine inside. Carrying weapons while I study my notes, running around while I rush my deadlines, playing with mud while I strum my guitar, shouting commands while I… probably take afternoon naps. Hee hee.

I’ll see you on Tuesday morning right after my first presentation for the semester. And then we shall bid goodbye and we shall see each other again after your confinement.

I love you.

2011-10-25T22:39:00.005+08:00

Poetry of the senses.

Pros and cons exist in almost all situations in life, but have you ever considered the ‘good’ in the cons and the ‘bad’ in the pros?

Sometimes, we get angry at each other, but we realise that relenting to our emotions is not the best solution. We then find a way to chuck our feelings aside and work things out through a series of compromising and sacrificing. From there, we learn. Sometimes, we get offended by the words that were uttered, but we realise that the only way to bring us back to the realm of sanity is by having some senses knocked hard into our heads. From there, we learn. Sometimes, we just don’t get each other, but we realise that through the differences in opinions, logic in beliefs and explanations, we are able to step out from our comfort zones and see things from a different perspective. From there, we learn.

All of us should stay away from feeling incompetent, worthless or incapable whenever we screw up, because mistakes are proof that we are trying. The good thing about making mistakes along the way is that we're able to learn something new.

And often, the knowledge that we gain from learning through the hard way is better grasped because of the pain that we have to go through, both mental and physical.

2011-10-21T18:24:00.005+08:00

The abhorrent pretense.

The first week of the semester fed me with sufficient knowledge of how hypocritical human beings can be. The extent of how people can do anything to satisfy their massive hunger for greed and selfishness speaks a lot about how the desirable attitudes towards one another on the façade is nothing but a plain act. When the situation doesn’t favour their convenience, their solutions are either putting people in a predicament or treating others like a piece of refuse, besides pushing people out and dragging people in, with or without their prior consent.

I’ve stopped bothering about the screwed-up system, but it irks me to no end knowing that these dramas never cease. Growing older and becoming wiser does not correspond to each other afterall.

On top of all those shit that happened, school has been revolving around fish fillets from Stall 1 at food court 6, expanding circle of friends by a bit, gaining the confidence to speak in front of the class, tickled by how hilarious Ms. Bernie Bosco is, and having a good laugh with The Boy in between lessons. I like the last one most. :>

You cannot fathom the immensity of happiness I'm feeling knowing that it's the weekends already. Alhamdulillah.

2011-10-17T00:02:00.001+08:00

To learn and to understand.

Sunday night out with ♥.

2011-10-05T02:34:00.002+08:00

I came along, I wrote a song for you.

Amazing how it's been more than a year but when we reminisced on the things that transpired back then, it felt like it was just yesterday. ♥

2011-10-01T21:44:00.002+08:00

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting.

Life can be so full of drama, no matter how much we try to stay out of it. The meaningful insights that we can gain from situations we usually fail to analyse and the easier way out that we can take to resolve issues are often substituted with prolonged feelings of angst, vengeance or envy.

Taking a dip into the big picture made me realise that people can do anything to satisfy their negative voices in their heads. Because of one's egotistical nature and tightly-clung pride, family ties can even be strained, or severed. It's really sad when you see segregated groups of the same family during massive gatherings. It's even sad when you witness fake smiles they put on when they have to face each other. However, the sorrow in their parents' eyes when they see how their children treat one another is a sorrow of beyond any possible degree.

You know what's contradicting? These same bunch of people who support world peace, or any kind of peace for that matter, are actually on a battle ground, waging wars of their own.

Sometimes all it takes to untangle the knot or iron the creases is a reflection, realisation and a reminder that life is shorter than all of us think. We, the human race, can be of a shame sometimes, if not all the time.

2011-09-29T00:24:00.003+08:00

Reliving every minute makes the moment seem further away.

That moment when reality suddenly slapped me in the face, real hard.

I deny the possibility of negativities or tragic ending all the time, but when the wall I built starts to crack every now and then, the vulnerability attacks. I broke down not because I was weak, but because that very moment when reality hit was just too much to handle.

However, thinking about the predicaments that other people may be in makes me realise that what I'm going to go through is pretty much nothing as compared to what the less fortunate people may be facing.

As much as possible, I try to remind myself of the undying patience of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w towards the obstacles that he had to go through, most of which dealt with matters of life and death. And this, too, makes me realise that what I'll be going to experience is just a microscopic portion of all the challenges that he experienced during his time. A tiny, minute portion, to be precise. And I shall remind myself how fortunate I am and how grateful I should be.

Very, very much fortunate.

2011-09-27T12:31:00.003+08:00

Caught up in the moment.

Yesterday was the epitome of fun. Set a picnic by the Palawan beach, indulged in the snacks and food that we brought, played games after a couple of swims in the sea & letting the breeze take our worries away all in a day. It sure was a great momentary getaway.

Not forgetting, doing all those alongside with The Boy, who also plays a role as one of my best-est friends in the whole entire world.

Pictures will be uploaded on Facebook soon! :)

2011-09-25T00:35:00.005+08:00

Shot right through into a bolt of blue.

Besides being terribly disgusted by a despicable bloke who gave an irking whistle while I was immersed in pulling down the shutters, work was extremely exhausting today. Probably due to the sudden crowd that emerged out of nowhere and the series of unfortunate things that occurred during the busy hour. Jammed oven, faulty machine, deadly stares and the whatnot. Despite having aching feet, joints and back wrapping up the night, the thought of pulling through the night gave us all the satisfaction that is beyond measure. Always, all ways. :)

Definitely looking forward to the Sentosa outing on Monday! Just by conjuring images of the beach, the sand, breeze and the company of a bunch of lovely people is enough to get me all excited!

Time to get my daily dose of Running Man.

2011-09-23T02:54:00.002+08:00

"Love wins. Love always wins."

A lot of times, my mind question the probability of events that may occur in place of the things that have transpired. The fact that it’s usually a fifty-fifty possibility stops me on my track all the time. It’s horrifying how a micro error can leave a substantial amount of emotional scar, if not physical.

It’s disconcerting how negative thoughts usually come in abundance at night, and how things which I’ve been trying really hard to chuck aside in the day hit me in the dark. I drew to close that a good amount of self-esteem and confidence is a momentary self-composure. When the rope that I’ve been hanging on to wears and starts to tear, that’s when the vulnerability I loathe sinks in.

“If you hold back on the emotions -- if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them -- you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’” - Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

We'll be fine, sweetheart.

2011-09-18T19:51:00.003+08:00

Lip-synching and playing air guitar.

It’s amazing how my blog stat is alive despite this space being left unattended. For those who left with a tinge of disappointment, I apologise. I figured I’ve been away for too long and it’s time to do some resurrection to this blog of 7 years now.

A lot of significant events occurred and it seems like there’re too much for me to list them out one by one. To sum it up, these few weeks have been blissful -- from Hari Raya celebrations, quality time with family, friends, colleague, myself and down to making time for The ever-so-loving Boy.

Jalan Raya with workmates on the 12th:

Went cycling with the awesome people on Wednesday. Our mission for that day was basically to help our dearest Ma'am Mhay on her healthy lifestyle quest. It was a helluva fun day on a whole. We ended the day with an insane viking ride!

Along the way, people came and people went. We had a couple of colleagues who have left us for their hometown or due to a cease of contract. Notice why I mention a lot about work or people from work? 'Cos apart from God, family and a few close friends, they've been the rainbow of my life since the moment the chemistry between us all sparked. I love all of you to bits. ♥

Fresh New Hair

2011-08-26T23:41:00.002+08:00

So, my good friend right here, Ms Siti Zubaidah allowed me to update her dying blogger. I have nothing much to update about her right now but there is one major change that she has made to her hair. So, friends, please do not be shocked the next time you see her. With an awesome new hairstyle, what else can I say? She has always looked good and now, she looks even better! :)

I really miss hanging out and making random videos with her. Oh, let's sing Skyscraper together one day kay? We'll make a spontaneous date. *winks*

Much love,

Ina Nurshiqah

2011-08-16T18:59:00.005+08:00

Five for Fighting.

For some reasons, I am proud of myself for succeeding in a victory against the inner voices in my head. Disallowing myself from relenting to my emotions is another feeling of personal worth on its own. Unlike in the past, I am now able to sort out my thoughts and feelings quicker during such uncalled-for moments. No doubt that time does heal certain things. It’s just how long it takes, or how short, for that matter.

After my exam yesterday, The Boy tricked me into believing that he’s at home watching movies on his laptop when in actual fact… he was at my school’s entrance! It was all a mixture of shocked + delighted + nak-kena-pukul-budak-ini (because he lied) feeling when I saw him.

“You have to apologise to me 3 times.”
“Why?”
“1) Telling me your phone broke down. 2) Telling me you were at home. 3) Telling me you were watching movies.”
With a big grin, he said, “It’s all part of the scene.”
Just then, the red man turned green and we vroomed off in silence that was filled with happiness & excitement.

Excitement because…

He brought me to Geylang since I’ve been wanting to see the lights! Turned out that it wasn’t as fascinating as I’d imagined because not all the parts were lit. :( We concluded that it was either because of an electric failure or conservation of electricity, which I don’t really have any issues against.

My second Ramadhan with him has been filled with overcoming challenges, learning even more about each other and of course, newly-crafted beautiful memories. Insya’Allah, we’ll come out of this battle victoriously.

(I bet his hidung cannot maintain when he reads this post. Horh? :b)

2011-08-11T00:32:00.004+08:00

No plans. No promises.

Today, I did something for the first time – scoring my first ever strike in my whole 18 years of life. And I’m so proud of it, considering how I dropped the bowling ball before letting it roll down the alley lane during my previous trip! Yes, laugh at me if you want, 'cos I can’t even stop laughing at myself at the thought of it! Slenger bacin much!

Oh and I also defeated The Boy at our third game!

Thank you, Master, for teaching me how to bowl, making me overcome my fear of my previous fiasco and the constant encouragement even though I had a number of 'longkang' shots. And for the whole of today. :')

2011-08-07T01:12:00.002+08:00

Do you hear that love? They’re playing our song.

Far too many things have occurred and I honestly don’t know where to start. I have been abandoning this space for too long now and the guilt has finally sunk in. School’s been pretty hectic lately, with the nearing datelines and the upcoming exams. We’re nearly towards the end of the semester – the usual taxing part of the cycle.

The part where I either make it or break it.

Have you ever gone through a day whereby you feel perfectly fine at the beginning, being the liveliest one in the family, chattering endlessly, laughing your heart out and nothing ever gets in your way. Even if they do, you'll smack 'em hard to make sure not a single thing can bring you down or dampen your spirits.

But when night time comes and everyone's asleep, your emotions start to take a dip and tears start welling up in your eyes unwarily.

That's today for me.

Tomorrow will be better. InsyaAllah.

2011-07-12T23:58:00.004+08:00

Quick update: I'm a veryyyyyyyyyy happppppyyyyyyyyy girl. Mostly because of the As for Law paper & Web Design! And seeing the annoying boy's face today during his lunch break. <3 :)

2011-06-28T13:42:00.003+08:00

Gratitude and a quick note.

A decent result for Mass Media Research CA1, and an A for Consumer Behaviour CA1. Alhamdulillah. :)

Law test laterrrrrrrrrrrr!

P.S. Photos will be uploaded soon, esp photos with The Boy. :)

2011-06-23T20:23:00.002+08:00

Thoughts to ponder.

Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

But what if you got it back?

Being alone has taught me that there is more to life than what I thought there is. Never have I embraced the quality time with my own self as much as I have done these few days. My train of thoughts has been running on full gear despite the emotional days that I experienced. It's inevitable, trust me, especially when your emotions start to play crazy games on you and push you to the edge of your sanity. Disastrous.

As I was reciting the Quran, tears welled up my cheeks as I gathered my thoughts and emotions together. I haven’t felt composed for quite some time and the feeling of being close to Him was priceless. There are so many things that I want to do but I haven’t found the guts and courage to execute them. The considerations, I realized, aren’t as obstructing as I thought. A stronger will and faith – that’s what I need.

School holidays are ending soon, and I figured, instead of dwelling on the things that I should have done, it will be better if I focus on the things that I should work on in the days and months to come. Tuning your mind to think positively is always harder than immersing yourself in negative thoughts because the latter is almost a natural thing to do.

Ya Allah, please guide me through.

2011-06-21T17:41:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone! Since Ms Siti Zubaidah has been a really lazybum when it comes to updating her blog nowadays(hehe), I shall be the good girl and help her update her this little blog. :) Noh Iskandariah, jangan jealous eh. HEHEHEEH. So, Zubaidah has been busy tumblring ( such a betrayer to blogger,tsk.) and busy with her busy life (hmmmm,what am i talking about?!). Kay, I'm officially done with helping her update her blog. I only know how to reblog. I don't do blogger. I'm a tumblr addict, I admit it. And I am proud of that! ^^ Okay Zubaidah's friends, bye bye! :)

With love,
Ina Nurshiqah

2011-06-18T21:26:00.003+08:00

To avoid disappointments, go to my tumblr for updated posts. :>

http://eyelinerandtotes.tumblr.com

Sneak peak:

2011-05-31T01:04:00.003+08:00

Cambridge.

Reasons for the lack of updates:

1. School - projects, assignments and tests.
2. Sleep.
3. Tumblr - http://eyelinerandtotes.tumblr.com/
4. Formspring - http://formspring.me/zzzubaidah
5. Family.
6. Friends.
7. Last but not least, The Boy. :)

2011-05-22T17:47:00.003+08:00

In your arms I'll stay.

Thank you everyone for the lovely wishes, gifts, cards. :>

And to my dearest mom for bracing through the heavy rain to get the ingredients for the sumptuous home-cooked dinner. ♥

And to The Boy, thank you too.

The way you looked into my eyes, sang me a birthday song that only I could listen, wiped my tears of joy and made me feel so special throughout. ♥

2011-05-10T11:50:00.002+08:00

Time to kill take a pill as i sit and contemplate.

"There is a theory that the common PMS response of increased appetite with cravings for carbohydrates may be caused by low serotonin levels. The theory is that when serotonin levels are low, the brain signals the body to eat carbohydrates, which in turn stimulates the production of serotonin from its naturally occurring amino acid "building block." Just in case women have ever wondered why their appetites seem out of control and willpower goes out the window during PMS, factors as strong as brain chemicals and hormone production may be powerful influences over behavior and physical cravings."

Such a relief to know I'm not alone.

2011-05-03T23:20:00.002+08:00

We don't sing because we're happy.
We're happy because we sing.

Praises to God, things are going pretty smooth in nearly every aspect. Family, friends, work, school (for now), and The Boy. ♥

There's just one thing, that I've been trying to work on. And the procrastination is beginning to scare me.

Strangers, again

2011-04-22T01:09:00.000+08:00

Strangers, again.

"I think that if life separates us, and we end up in totally different places, I'll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time. And I'll be thankful for that... and hope that wherever you are, you'll be thankful too."

2011-04-21T03:30:00.002+08:00

"I only said it 'cause I mean it,
I only mean it 'cause it's true.
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming,
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you."

2011-04-21T00:34:00.005+08:00

In the haste in the grace I've been up to my waist.

It was said that the weather can affect oneself both negatively and positively. Whether it does or not, I didn’t think using the weather to explain why I was feeling dispirited earlier in the day would be a convincing reason. Giving free rein to delusion is never the best solution, though mostly sought to.

When unexpected things or news come rolling at me at the least expected times, that’s when my whole system shuts down, like any other. Everything’s immobilised, and being on par with reality seems like the hardest thing to do in this entire universe. Words of comfort and advice will only serve as a momentary relief. The rest of the time, I will find myself staring into space, with my mind painting pictures of how the future may be like. Then somehow, somewhere along the edges, pictures of happy moments come together by the force of memory and I slowly succumb to the fear of losing what I have.

These challenges never cease, do they?

Despite so, relenting to sorrow will just make things even worse. “Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” – Horace.

On another note, school has started and it sure isn’t the same with the absence of The Boy, who's already done with Poly life. A lot of adapting works to be done. The workload hasn’t really come yet but I can already smell them, given the overviews of the various modules. Intimidating, but at the same time, pretty exciting.

Yesterday was a crazy day. I could feel myself being pushed to the edge of insanity by an unknown force due to excessive laughter with the girls. Crazy, yet utterly hilarious. Speaking of yesterday, it was Ina’s birthday! I met her after school for a little celebration with fellow colleagues and then we had dinner together where we talked about everything under the umbrella of our lives. Every moment of yesterday with you, my dear, I cherish. Be strong. :)

You know about how people say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?

I can feel that the absence of each other brings us closer than never before. I won't forget that smile on your face when I gave you the unintended visit at work just now. ♥

2011-04-08T23:23:00.007+08:00

Walking on a straight line.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves. Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. Unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for me to accept it sometimes. Being on par with reality and the truth of transience can be pretty tough on some occasions, but change is inevitable and I definitely am powerless to defy what He has in store for me, and the people around me. The ones I love, especially.

What can you do with a sentimental heart?

I've been feeling rather emotional lately. Partly due to the period that I foresee is coming pretty soon. Other than that, it’s all about life. About how to pull through tough situations with a composed mind and thought and at the same time, trying my best to stay attached to Allah s.w.t.

“God is with the broken-hearted. When your heart breaks, it’s a good thing – the breaking of the heart is what opens it up to the light of Allah. The dunya is designed to break your heart, to crush it."

I must realise that life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyse me, but instead help me discover who I am, remind me of the most fundamental and essential purpose of my living, as well as to mould me into a better person, with His will. I frown a little whenever I see people going “FML” even over the littlest things. I believe life is a gift to be cherished, not to be cursed. The Boy constantly tells me to look at things from a brighter perspective, especially when I’m in a predicament. I may not be having the time of my life, but I’m contented with what I have right now. Truly am.

The thing about The Boy that never fails to amaze me is – what I call – his ‘Wise Moments’. Don’t take me wrong, or think that he’s not acting his age when he should but, you know how boys will always remain as boys and when they utter something wise or when you see them in deep thoughts, it warms your heart, knowing that they’re gradually growing up to become a man. It takes time, I know. Bit by bit, step by step. And I’m not complaining about how childish he can be at times because growing old is mandatory but growing up is an option. Besides, I annoy him a lot more than he does actually. (Especially through the phone when he just wakes up.) Haha!

'Cause I love the way you say Good Morning, and you, take me the way I am. ♥

2011-04-02T00:20:00.005+08:00

And it's a good excuse to put our love to use.

Blue, Skyride & Luge, sunset, your company. ♥

2011-03-20T01:26:00.003+08:00

Triple M.

Miss My Monster.

2011-03-09T23:59:00.006+08:00

As long as you've got me and I've got you.

At long last, an entry. Hello fellow readers, whoever and wherever you are. :)

The holidays have officially begun two weeks ago upon my last paper and I have been having a blast eversince! The fact that I had no more papers to worry about, no more notes to scribble, no more shitload to memorise and whatnot took quite a while to sink in at first, but when a drop of the joy started to pierce through my skin, that’s when I know I got to succumb to this carefree life while it lasts.

The Sentosa outing with The Boy after our last papers ended turned out to be even enjoyable than I expected it to be. Instead of hitting the island with just each other’s company, we went there with his classmates who also had similar plans. His friends were really welcoming and I couldn’t be more thankful than I was for that. Seeing The Boy beaming with joy right after we left for dinner date gave me a sense of happiness that was beyond measure.

We celebrated Ibu’s birthday on the 2nd of March. She was feeling a little low at first because of the absence of Zack but we managed to break her away from that gloominess somehow. Witnessing the genuine happiness from the smile that was curved on her lips throughout the celebration and hearing her laughter was something I am really grateful for. I wish I can grow up to be like her – A woman with amazingly-immeasurable strength who never gives up in life despite the millions of challenges that were thrown to her; A woman who knows her responsibilities and carry them out extremely well; A woman who prioritizes her family on top of every other thing; A woman who loves her husband and children dearly; A great cook; A wonderful mother in the whole entire world, who still looks beautiful despite turning forty---. ;) I love you, Ibu.

I’m more preoccupied with work now that I’m free from school obligations. At every thought of quitting or changing workplace, the first thing that hinders the intention is the thought of the company of my dearest workmates. I guess I’ll stay for as long as I feel the strong need for a change. Speaking of workmates, we went cycling at ECP on one of our off days, and it sure felt extremely good!

You know what people say about never giving up because there’s always light at the end of the tunnel? I’m holding on firmly to the saying. I know that everything we go through is a phase. A person won’t be eternally happy, nor drown in a black hole forever. I shall not allow my spirits to be dampened just because of this setback in life. I will do my part to ease the burden, with His guidance. InsyaAllah.

One of the people, who had inspired me to be strong, besides my mom and dad, is The Boy. Our relationship is not based on mere feelings or for the sake of having “someone special”. We make an effort to know each other deep down and share with each other both happiness and sorrow. His personal experiences that he shared made me realise the importance of a positive mindset and the will to carry on and work hard for a better tomorrow. For that, I thank you.

Truly, I am grateful to have the company of all these people in my life. Alhamdulillah.
Till next time!

2011-02-28T00:06:00.005+08:00

‘Cos it’s only in the quiet that I hear myself breathe.

Every single thing has its greatest possible degree. It's what we call Limit. Patience, tolerance, level of understanding – everything has its limit. No matter how close I am to a person also, the bulk of our conversations differ in conformity to how comfortable I am in being personal.

I miss Asnira As’ari. The relationship we have is special. We don’t talk to each other every day, we don’t meet for coffee every week, we don’t have dates every month, but I can safely say that despite the frequent absence of each other in each other’s lives, we somehow understand each other, even in complex situations. We know that we’re still there for each other in times of need. The only person who would understand what I’m going through right now is her. The only person who would say the right words to me is her. The only person who would make me feel like I’m not alone is her. I still remember how I used to be down with the same problem back in Secondary School and she was the only person who knew about it. She was the only one who witnessed how I crumbled – literally weighed down by what seemed like life’s great challenges back then. She was the only one who saw me broke down during English lesson as I muffled the state that I was in. She was the only one who would text me every now and then asking if things are getting better. I miss her, so much. Meeting her few weeks back after school was something I’m really grateful for. That, I hope she knows.

Things seem fine in the façade, but this concealed misery that’s been bringing me down at irregular intervals is beginning to take its toll on me. It’s so hard to please everyone at the same time, but I’m trying. It’s so hard to do some convincing work, but I’m trying. I think all I need right now is to be assured, rather than being the one who is assuring. What I need right now is to be listened and to be given words of advice, rather than being the one who lends a pair of listening ears. What I need right now is to be the one who’s expressing my emotions, rather than being the one offering momentary happiness.

Sometimes, when people throw their emotional baggage on me, I have no idea what to say, because my own mind is clouded by problems that I wish I could resolve on my own. I’m not trying to say that I’m jaded of being the one who’s listening. No. My dear friends and loved ones, I’ll try my very best to be there for you when you need me, InsyaAllah.

I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I know He will guide us through this rough patch. Being a firm believer that things will eventually get better with the help of Allah s.w.t, all I can do now is to pray for the best – for me, my family, and my loved ones. InsyaAllah.

I’ve been having a battle with my inner self for quite some time now, but I’ve always been defeated by the evil voices. It’s so hard to muster all the strength I could to come out of this battle victoriously, but I won’t give up. I won’t. InsyaAllah.

And to Ina Nurshiqah Bte Jomari, you will pull through this hard time, InsyaAllah. I'll always be here for you.

Amin.
For now, I just need to focus on the upcoming paper on Tuesday.
Till then.

2011-02-26T01:10:00.004+08:00

New coat of yellow paint.

The Boy, Superman for the day.

It's heartwarming to be approached by a friend whom I used to have heart-to-heart conversations with back in Secondary School days. Being approached is one thing, being told about something personal that she is experiencing right now is another. To realise that I'm still someone whom she can trust and someone whom she is comfortable to share her personal encounters with is something I consider invaluable. I pray for your happiness, Natasha Imran. ♥

Oh, that's a picture of us when we were in Secondary 3! I still keep it. :)

2011-02-25T00:28:00.004+08:00

The third time's the charmer they say.

The greatly abhorred Economics paper is finally over! Nothing beats celebrating the end of the laborious and agonizing torture by finding out you’ve been graded an A for a 20-page report that you wrote with your group mates, followed by having lunch with The Boy who also had a paper this morning. The happiness was double I expected!

One last paper before I shall enjoy the long vacation.

Hekhekhek.

2011-02-20T02:01:00.008+08:00

Painting pictures in the sky.

5 (of the many reasons) why I find The Boy lovely:

1. He doesn’t hear, but he listens.
He’s such a wonderful listener. Every time after I whine, he’ll utter comforting words and make me see things from a different perspective that I fail to see when I'm frustrated. Every time I talk about what I dream to be, he doesn’t laugh but takes note of every detail without seeing them as something ambitious. He catches significant information about my life even through casual conversations and surprise me every now and then with his incredible memory.

2. He doesn’t see, but he observes.
He observes more than I think he does. Really, truly, genuinely.

3. He doesn’t try too hard, but he tries.
The difference between trying too hard and trying is of great degree. He doesn’t try to be someone different when he’s with me. He doesn’t speak highly of himself to impress nor brag about his successes. He doesn’t fish for compliments. He tries to make me comfortable when I’m around him. He tries to understand my terms. He tries to make me smile when I cry even if it means cracking lame jokes or making a fool out of himself. He tries to be the best even without trying too hard.

4. He doesn’t only understand, but he analyses.
Whenever I explain to him my grounds or my reasons, he doesn’t only listen and stop at the surface but sets aside time to look into the situation in greater depth. He has his (what I call) Wise Moments and he never fail to blow me away when that side of him emerges. Sometimes, when we come across a mechanism/machine that looks complicated, he’ll go, “I wonder how that works.” And when he’s silent after that, I know that he’s deep in thoughts.

5. He makes me feel special.
He holds my hand tighter than usual when we walk past pretty girls. He looks into my eyes and tells me how beautiful I am even after I cry. He magnifies my potential and capabilities and never, ever underestimates me. I still remember how I was his first pillion and that very first time he took me for a ride, he brought me to a mosque where we prayed together. The feeling of happiness, then, was immeasurable.

Noh Iskandariah Bin Khosnen
♥

2011-02-19T12:28:00.000+08:00

Anything I'm not.

There are bound to be days when I wake up feeling miserable; days when the evil voices in me inject negativities in my head; days when the stream of previous fiascos refuse to stop flowing in my mind; days when I’m distracted.

Ah, this can’t be happening. I need to get back on track.

2011-02-14T22:44:00.004+08:00

Above the clouds in the atmosphere.

Sometimes we don't say a thing, just listen to the crickets sing. ♥

2011-02-10T22:06:00.006+08:00

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.

Going through a rough period, filled with emotionally-disturbed days, silent exasperated screams and a bugging conscience taught me a lot of things.

It taught me that I should appreciate the little things in life, and everything I can be. I should appreciate the things that others have sacrificed for me and look beyond my sight. I should appreciate all the friends I have and the happy moments that I’ll never forget. I should appreciate all the laughs and the moments I don’t regret. I should appreciate what I have, because I never know when it’ll be gone.

Through each of life’s challenge, I learn more each day. No matter how much I tried to stay hidden away, the problem came and found me. It dawned on me that it is in time of sorrow that our heart will turn. There’s no better time to start growing than when the hard times keep going.

When you think everything is perfect, it’s not. When you think something can’t get any worse, it does. Complacency, ignorance, pretence – these are the probable causes. Things are shifting to a less rocky road. No doubt do the emotional disturbances occur every now and then, but those are just setbacks in the recovery process.

Moving on to better things in life. I was elated to get back the CA2 grades for VPDP and News Writing. One more lap to chiong and hopefully all the effort will be paid off. School has been exhausting, but what's school without all the stress and fatigue.

Mmmmm, how's The Boy? Well, he's been lovely. Always. :>

2011-01-23T22:27:00.003+08:00

‘Cause every line on your face makes a beautiful maze for my eyes to trace.

That moment when you’re so sad, and you just want someone to comfort you, but then you end up crying alone in your room. That moment when you feel so exasperated beyond endurance and you don’t know how to compose yourself. That moment when you just can’t get the heavy load off your chest, despite millions of attempts.

I stared at blank spaces, oblivious to the surrounding, with my mind doing the thing it is best at whenever I’m in a somber mood. Crafting pictures of events, faces of people – unifying all the bits and pieces with the force of my memory. Everything had the texture of a dream; some parts seemed obscure, while others, still vivid in my mind.

It has been a terribly rough week. Mugging for tests, struggling to meet deadlines, burning midnight oil, emotional distress, tear-provoking days, battling with inner voices, leaving words unspoken, holding back disappointments. The period definitely aggravated everything, with the agonising cramps and whatnot.

I’m grateful that things are better now. I refrained myself from going out today, just so I can sort my thoughts and emotions. I burned the negative thoughts and let them disintegrate into thin air. I told myself to get a grip and stay composed. Staying at home today helped to a large extent. What aided the whole self-reflection day was Zack’s 21st birthday celebration. It has been a while, and the warm company of my family was just perfect.

Next week will be better, InsyaAllah.

2011-01-15T22:42:00.010+08:00

Another dream came true.

Once upon a night, a girl was strumming her guitar to sad songs.

She was feeling under the weather the whole day and had been resting at home. She cried the moment she woke up from her nap for unknown reasons. And she missed The Boy so much so that she wrote a short song to express herself. The tears flowed every now and then.

As she was sinking into the melancholy mood of her song, she felt the vibration of her phone. Little did she expect it to be from The Boy.

10:15PM
Iskandariah ♥:
I'm waiting.

She was unsure what he meant by the text. Engulfed in curiosity, she asked him what he was waiting for. As the text was being sent, something struck her. She dashed to the window.

Her instincts were right. As she looked out of the window, she saw The Boy, on the walking pavement, looking up. Her eyes lit and she could feel her heart skipping a beat. He went up and wrapped her in his warm embrace. She savoured every moment, trying to make them last for as long as she could.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me. :')"

2011-01-05T20:27:00.003+08:00

Lost in the wind.

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

2011-01-02T22:49:00.003+08:00

Greatest find.

The Boy and I had a slightly rough night.

It was my fault and I thought the night would end on a bad note. But he took me to a place and let his heart out and I listened as I succumbed to guilt. In deep silence, he stroked my hair as I could feel a tear in my eye. He told me not to cry, held me tight and washed away all my fears.

I bid goodbye to him, as he watched me walk to my house. Not long after I took a few steps, he called me.

Him: Dear…
Me: *looks back at him* Yes?
Him: *opens his arms wide*

That’s when I realised I didn’t give him a goodnight hug before we parted. And that’s when I walked to him and felt his loving embrace.

His perseverance, patience and love give me hope.

2011-01-01T02:02:00.002+08:00

Here's a little hand to hold on to.

A myriad of feelings engulfed me as I reminisced on the days of 2010, both significant and not. We hear people say how quick this year has passed and that it doesn’t feel like a year at all. Even I rant about how everything seems to be happening at an incredible speed. However, many fail to realise that so many things had actually happened in everyone’s lives in this course of one year. Only by recalling the events in the earlier months did I manage to sink deeper into realisation that all the things that transpired this year, indeed, has moulded me into a different person than I used to be.

I remember clearly how the year began, and how the following months went about. Me, a naïve girl, blinded and deceived. Life, I thought, was a bed of roses, until reality came crashing in and brought me back to consciousness. I made stupid decisions; decisions that slowly pushed me to the losing end. But mistakes are made so that we can learn from them. Mistakes are made so that we will make it a point not to repeat the same actions. Mistakes are made so that we will come out from the mess as a better person.

What happened turned me into a more cautious person. Wiser. Less vulnerable. Stronger. Cold. Too cold and too careful, that it brought harm to blossoming friendships with new people. I however learnt how to widen my perspective and break away from the hostility.

My family has been of great support to me, throughout. No doubt did I feel lonely when both my brothers had to serve national service. No doubt did I feel down in the dumps certain times. But at one point or another, I feel as though my life is complete given the wonderful family that I have. Not that I have a perfect relationship with my brothers. We do quarrel sometimes. And not that I never get upset with my parents with the rules they set or when our thoughts and views seem to be coming from two different angles. I do, sometimes. I get angry too. But, deep inside, I know that I wouldn’t want to trade anything else for my family, for they are precious beyond words.

My friends are incredible – both new ones whom I met this year and the ones who had been with me through thick and thin the previous years. I thank them for their constant care and support, for bringing me back to step on the grounds of reality when I seem to be oblivious with what’s happening around me or when my mind’s just wandering to non-existent places, for making me smile when I’m down, for making me burst into laughter at least expected times, for patting my back when I’m jaded with the pile of shitload people give, for almost everything. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

And to The Boy. I hope you like The Precious Red Book. Everything I want to tell you is enclosed in the two envelopes. Thank you, for every single thing you do.

I don’t regret anything that had occurred in 2010. May 2011 be a blessed year for me, for you, and for our loved ones. Farewell 2010. :)

2010-12-24T00:21:00.001+08:00

A long, long time ago.

Please, don't let history repeat itself.
Please, understand.
Please.

2010-12-19T19:05:00.003+08:00

In a shadow of a train.

Once upon a day, a boy and a girl bought a drink each from SweetTalk.

Boy: *pokes the cover of the girl’s drink with a straw without shaking it*
Girl: You haven’t shake it yet! :/
Boy: Oh shit!
Girl: Haha, nevermind it’s okay.
Boy: No… :/

A few seconds later, the boy poked the cover of his own drink.
Girl: Why did you poke yours without shaking???
Boy: So that it’s fair now that mine’s the same as yours. :)

I suddenly remembered that story while queuing up for a drink just now. Made me smile for a while. :)

2010-12-19T03:03:00.000+08:00

I miss you like a child misses her blanket.

2010-12-16T00:27:00.006+08:00

Somewhere far away.

Picture above features The Boy and his virgin flyer ride last Friday.
He's extremely adorable. :)

My life’s currently revolving around school and work, which explains the lack of updates. It’s annoying how time flies at the speed of light when I least want it to, and how at other times, a day passes by so slowly. The three-week break honestly does not feel like one, with all the projects assigned. What a bummer. Just when all of us rejoiced at the thought of holidays, all these little obstructing thoughts of datelines had to surface. Obligations.

It’s only this morning that I realised how exhausted I am from everything that has been happening lately. I don’t know how I fell into a deep slumber this afternoon before going to school, but the nap clearly shows how I’m horribly deprived of rest. Every joints and ligaments in my body somehow felt weighed down to the mattress. And I could feel myself so attached to my dream; it felt as though everything was genuine.

I hereby vow to spend more quality time with family, friends, The Boy and myself next week. And I'm definitely looking forward to tomorrow!

2010-12-03T22:46:00.009+08:00

Carving our names on the windowsill.

Once upon a night, a boy and a girl were on their way home.

The boy was carrying a guitar. Along the way, they sat somewhere nearby the girl's home. He took out the guitar, strummed some songs and hummed, while the girl looked at him and smile. She then took the guitar and contemplated whether or not she should sing the song she wrote about him.

As she held the guitar, the guy asked her to teach him some new songs. So she told him to learn how to play the song that she made, but faked him into believing that it was a new song she just learnt how to play.

She looked at the ground as she sang, with her heart beating real quick, avoiding eye contacts with the boy, in the hopes that he would listen to the lyrics and realise that the song, was for him.

Girl: *finishes the last line of the song* Okay I'm done. *waits for his response*
Boy: *looks at her fingers* ... So it's the same chords all the way right?
Girl: .. *pretends not to look disappointed* Yep, the same chords all the way.. Hmm, let's go.

They walked to her house in silence. Before the girl walked into the lift,

Girl: Okay, goodnight!
Boy: *grabs the girl's arm*
Girl: ... Mmm, yea?
Boy: *thinks of words to say*
Girl: Hahaha, what is it?
Boy: Did I...
Girl: ...Yeah?
Boy: Did I... make you...
Girl: What???
Boy: Did I make you believe that I was pretending to look at your chords?

He looked at her and smiled, as a sense of happiness overwhelmed her. So he did listen to the lyrics. So he did know the song was for him. So just like how the girl faked him into believing that it was a new song she just learnt how to play, the boy too faked her into believing that she was unheard when he pretended that his attention was diverted.

Girl: ... Goodnight. *looks at him and smile*
Boy: Goodnight.... thanks. *waves as the door of the lift closes*

♥

2010-11-30T22:10:00.000+08:00

2010-11-28T21:19:00.006+08:00

So I put on my make-up and pray for a miracle.

Two fast-paced weeks, filled with deadlines, assignments, presentations, tear-jerking days, as well as all the fun & laughter with my lovely family, beautiful friends and the charming boy.

Despite how exhausting school can be, the company of my classmates everyday makes it all worthwhile. I still remember the epic moment Abby, Mai and I had in the loo on Thursday in the middle of News Writing tutorial. I’d still chuckle to myself at the thought of it. Not forgetting how we were all in the train and Jerry said he wanted to eat then suddenly the announcement “Eating or drinking is not allowed in the train” coincidentally went off right after that. Haha, take that man!

I love how we’re all laid-back, how we can have so much fun even without making a din, how we understand each other, how Abby would give any of us a pat at absolutely random times and say “Oh I just feel like giving a pat on your shoulder”. And I love how we somehow always work things out and make do with situations that don’t favour us, like how we came up with utterly hilarious videos during Video Production even when we didn’t have sufficient people. Looking forward to our next eating session! I love every single one of you.

Caught up with Ina Nurshiqah last Thursday after school. Spent nearly two hours working on our mission, which I think turned up extremely awesome! I can’t wait to make it available for people’s view! A little sneak peak:

Love you, babygirl!

On another note, things are going great with The Boy. Bad days are undeniably inevitable, but somehow, things always end up really well or if not, doubly better after that. Because we know that mood swings exist, we know our emotions love to play crazy games on us sometimes and we know we make mistakes. So many things have happened during the period of time I was on hiatus from blogging, and I don’t know which days to highlight because truly, every single day has been really special, with him.

He's the boy who’d hug me when I’m on the verge of crying and say, “Come here, cry on my shoulder if you need to.” ♥

2010-11-15T18:58:00.006+08:00

Shot right through into a bolt of blue.

Disappointment, anger, frustration, fluster – just like every other human being, I succumb to these feelings every now and then. But I’ve always been a firm believer that all bad things come to an end, just like how good things do. I cry, I mope, but I eventually get out of the depression phase. I get angry as well as disappointed, but after gaining composure and reflecting upon what should’ve been done instead to salvage the situation, things get doubly better. It’s not really simple to view things from a bright perspective all the time, because there are always setbacks and obstacles along the way that inevitably bring me down. And I’m pretty sure everyone else goes through the cycle of being absolutely fine and optimistic at one point and falling terribly hard the next.

Today didn’t really begin well. Awkwardness, silence, failed attempts to start a proper conversation. Monday blues? Or maybe it was just the deep disappointment.

Nevertheless, morning with the clan doing video production was hilarious. Giggles and continuous laughter filled the air and everyone had a whale of time doing the task assigned. I think I was the joke of the millennium when I got into my character though. Not looking forward to watching the footages tomorrow, honestly! But oh well, not like I have a choice. Love you bunch to bits, still!

Lunch with the boy was a blast. Laughing like there was no tomorrow, playing on the swing, acting like maniacs. Really, truly nice. :)

A very fine example of how bad things, too, do come to an end.

Being able to be myself around you is, indescribable. :)

That aside, g'luck in completing your projects! And everyone else too!

2010-11-10T20:39:00.003+08:00

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep,
I'll sing a song beside you.

Today, I fell in love with a guy.

Our eyes met in the morning at 7AM. He wore a green shirt, and so was I. Despite feeling tired and sleepy, the nonsensical conversation that we had broke me into fits of laughter. We didn’t see each other till 1PM. He talked to me about his future plans and I listened attentively – how he aims to get into a university and take a degree, how he had his backup plans crafted carefully and most importantly, how he motivated me to study hard so that we could get into the same university.

However, as the day went by, for some reasons, different feelings and emotions were felt and our spirits were dampened. I knew he wept a little, but I dared not say a word for I feared the situation would deteriorate. I could feel my heart sink, slowly, deeper and deeper. And I was already expecting a silent night.

Little did I expect things to take a turn. He brought me to a place, where we took pictures on a trishaw, walked barefooted on the sand and spotted seashells and clams. He held my hand as we walked, gripping it every now and then. We then heard the adorable laughter of a baby boy, and chuckled to ourselves every time the baby laughed and how the baby’s hair was parted in the middle.

He then sat beside me. Even though there were more silent instances than conversations, the moment was beautiful. It was the same place we sat months back, when he was full of doubts, and when I, too, was full of uncertainties. It was the same place where we looked into each other’s eyes and said not a word. It was that very same place.

I’ve fallen for him time and again, and today, is one of the days;
One of the days the feeling felt like the first time.

2010-11-07T22:01:00.002+08:00

I,
won't let the emotional roller coaster ride
ruin this.

2010-11-01T22:17:00.005+08:00

But I'm only looking at you.

Every now and then, I go through a phase whereby nothing just feels right. I screw things up, I utter the wrong words, I get easily agitated, I take things a little too seriously. I blame fatigue. I blame the pressure that is building up. I blame pre-menstrual syndrome. I blame everything else but me. Sometimes, amidst observing and scrutinising how others behave, I fail to see through myself. I fail to immerse myself in the transformation that I'm going through.

I'm still me. I don't know how to get my thoughts across, but I'm still me. I've always been bad at words, but I just want you to know that I'm still me. I may get crossed often, but I'm still me. I may see things differently now, but I'm still me.

I'm still that girl who trips on her shoelaces, who laughs at her own jokes, who would surprise you with little things when you least expect it, who is afraid of the dark. I'm still that girl who gets butterflies in her stomach, who would strum her strings and sing to you despite her unimpressive voice, who would run like an idiot across patches with long grasses because of her fear for creepy crawlies. I'm still that girl who would try her very best to cheer you up when you're down, who would amaze you with her occasional wise thoughts, who would make you break into fits of laughter at her silly acts.

Change is inevitable. I'm growing up. My mind's beginning to see things from a slightly different perspective. I may put up a brave front, but I'm still vulnerable. I still cry when my day doesn't go well. I'm still succumbed to a million of insecurities. And these insecurities and uncertainties don't disappear just like that. They don't go away just by mere words of assurance. But I'll get over them eventually, slowly, surely.

My point is, no matter how much you think I've changed, I'm still me. I apologise for all the unwanted events that had transpired but trust me, I'm still me.

2010-10-28T22:42:00.009+08:00

Cos' you made me smile, even just for a while.

"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad. Carry you around when your arthritis is bad. Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you~"

"I'll make us drink Anlene so as to keep us healthy and have strong bones. So I can still walk by your side, holding your hand, if I were to grow old with you."

Hahahahahahaha. Noh Iskandariah Bin Khosnen. :')

2010-10-27T12:39:00.006+08:00

Cos' there is no guarantee that this life is easy.

Witnessing how a middle-aged father pushes his Down syndrome wheelchair-bound son brought me close to tears. Chemistry unsaid. Beneath the wrinkly exhausted façade, lies a strong determined man who is willing to do anything for his son, who has all the rights to live, who shouldn’t be deprived of bliss despite his physical form. The smile depicted on the son’s face clearly portrays a genuine happiness that most of us these days fail to embrace. We magnify the minute problems we encounter in life, we complain about the littlest things, we take advantage of the things that we have, we take our possessions for granted, we give up.

When such people are grateful for each second they live, for overcoming each day’s ordeal, for standing on their two feet to walk a short distance, for accomplishing simple things like cooking their own meal or making their bed, what do some of us do?

We dread our lives and question the reason why we're living.
Should we even?
Time for some self-reflection, perhaps.

2010-10-26T21:00:00.004+08:00

Count to four.

For tonight at least, I wish I’m numbed by everything. I wish I didn’t have to go through the process of bottling my angst, frustration or curbing my tears. I wish I’m indifferent towards people who irk me to no end. When people think about themselves wholly and shoot unnecessary things at me, I wish I don’t have to endure the whole emotional torture of controlling my feelings and holding back words that complement with how offended I feel.

Sometimes I feel so disgusted by your attitude. I’m jaded of putting up with your tantrums, your moodswings, and your whines. For all the times you treat me like dirt, I wish I could shove back all the shit that you've given me, intentionally or not. I wish I could scream to your face that I, too, have feelings and the world doesn’t revolve around you alone. I wish I could tell you that I genuinely had enough of your crap and I wish you would just disappear from my sight. Just because I don’t retaliate, it doesn’t fucking mean that you can step all over me.

I’m not crying because I’m weak.

I'm not holding grudges. Neither am I going to allow this horrible feeling prolong. Because holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. I just need to let it out.

I've always wanted to start afresh. But everytime I try, the attempt goes down the drain. I think I need to shut myself from the world.

2010-10-25T06:43:00.001+08:00

❝ He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you. ❞ -Bob Marley

2010-10-23T20:05:00.000+08:00

Just a spoon full of sugar makes it better real quick.

I think I swore way too much while watching Paranormal Activity 2 yesterday. Those terrifying scenes really got me off my seat. I was already conjuring up ugly images in my mind as we walked down the aisle to the exit. Oh anyway, don’t play tricks on me if I’m watching a horror movie. Either I’ll blow up at you or I’ll shoot you with profanities. Lesson learnt right dear? Heh heh heh.

I won’t forget how we went for Prom Night shopping, how we took silly shots together, how we dined in at Seoul Garden and wrote on a piece of serviette using melted chocolate for one of the waiters who were really nice, how you guys called me up at night to have a chat under my block and snap a picture, how you two surprised me with a cake at the carpark on my birthday, how we meet up just to have ice cream, how it was miraculously coindental to see you two suddenly appeared from the opposite direction while I was walking alone and on the verge of crying.

Just because we don’t contact each other as often now, it doesn’t mean that I have forgotten about the both of you alright, my two silly gundu bestmen. ♥

Cold and alone, waiting.

2010-10-21T23:00:00.002+08:00

As I met you on the outskirts of town.

Selenger bacin to the max. ♥

2010-10-21T00:11:00.006+08:00

Why don't we hit the restart, and pause it at our favourite parts.

I’ve always believed that I’m better at theory as compared to hands-on. However in life, it’s inevitable to step out of your comfort zone and adapt to changes. The starting of this semester marks a lot of new beginnings. No doubt am I intimidated by the new terms I’m trying to grasp. It’s normal to get unnerved every now and then at this phase, isn’t it? I’ll get through this. Someway, somehow. Everyone does.

My mind has been recently conjuring images of ugly events that had taken place months back. Whenever I think about it, the feeling of resentment sinks in, which opposes to how I react to past events previously. I used to be numbed and neutral right after all those depression shit, and I couldn’t care less. And I wish I could jettison all these little tinge of angst I’m feeling these days. Must be the period, I presume.

Maybe I was stupid, maybe I'm just too fat.
Oh how I abhor the way the monthly monster plays around with my emotions.

For the way you are, and for how you make me feel. ♥

2010-10-13T14:59:00.010+08:00

The apple of my eye.

The nice feeling I got when:

1) I contributed to society. Volunteered for the Silver Intercomm Day few weeks back. Seeing some of the elderly getting excited over acquiring new computer skills was adorable!

2) I saw my brother from afar, in his uniform. Running to him to give him a hug despite him reeking of his perspiration was worth leaving house at 6AM in the morning to witness his passing out parade.

3) I was able to be there for my bestfriend when she needed me most, to lend her my shoulder when she cries, to give her a pat on her back to encourage her to look from a brighter perspective when things come crashing down, to give her a tight hug when she needed to regain her lost strength.

4) I caught up with my two bestmen and fellow 4/7 classmates! \m/

5) I webcammed with Shamsiyah at 3AM in the morning, talked nonsense, showed fugly faces (and finger HAHAHA!) and snapped silly shots.

6) I spent time with the boy who wouldn’t mind smearing ice cream on his lips with me in public, who would make me laugh when he pretends to catch the flying kisses I blow, who would stroke my hair to assure that things will be alright, who would make me roses made of paper serviette in the middle of working hours, who would send me long texts once in a while and make me smile to sleep, who would sit on the grass patch with me and amaze me when he lets his imagination flow as he creates animal shapes out of clouds, who would sit with me in silence as we gaze at the stars, who would make me feel so special every single day.

School's starting next week, and I'm not complaining because my holidays, have been worthwhile. :)

2010-10-03T15:21:00.000+08:00

Scent of spring.

2010-10-02T00:09:00.010+08:00

Frozen.

Throughout the bus ride home, I mulled over each and every word uttered by my mom during the little conversation we had. Whatever she said was true. The only constant in life is change.

I'm feeling so vulnerable right now,
and I need you.

Guess I should just sleep it off.
You'll be fine zubs, you'll be fine. :'/

2010-09-30T00:54:00.008+08:00

And you’re like a sugarbomb.

Work and quality time with self, family, friends and the boy pretty much sum up what I’ve been up to during the little hiatus. So many things have transpired, and the happiness that is overwhelming me right now is immeasurable.

2010-09-19T23:13:00.001+08:00

Ever weep for reasons you, yourself, are unsure of?

2010-09-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

Be strong, love.

2010-09-14T23:20:00.009+08:00

Horseshoes and handgrenades.

Pardon the language I’m going to use, because I really can’t hold it in any longer.

I hate myself for being such a klutz – for tripping over things, for hitting my leg on the cupboard while rushing for the phone. I hate myself for being so stupid – for not knowing how to choose the right and precise word when I need to lay down my stand, for not knowing how to be firm when people are obviously making use of me, for being nice to people who are such an excruciating pain in the ass. I hate those fucking men who stare at me or my mom like they’re going to devour us anytime soon. I wish I could claw their fucking eyeballs out and stuff cockroaches, maggots or deadly scorpions in them and see them suffer in agony. I hate myself for that disappointment look on your face, for that reluctant smile curved, for letting you down, for just … being me.

Screw it; I hate myself for hating myself.

Sometimes, I personally feel that it’s so hard to be accepted for who I am. I have so many insecurities and doubts, and so many things that I need to consider about; things that people can’t comprehend. The pain of being caught in between wanting to please others and wanting to do things my way is worse than having a wisdom tooth extracted. Being in such a predicament just make me feel so worthless and shitty, because either way, I’d end up feeling really sore.

I know I can be difficult. But that’s just me. Persuading me to do things that I dislike or I'm uncomfortable with is just going to affect my self esteem really bad and make it plunge really low. Now I just feel so awful, so worthless because I have a conscience that loves to bug the fuck out of me even when I know I’m doing the right thing whereas in the eyes of others, I’m just being … difficult.

I try not to take things too hard when people break the shit out of my heart or bear grudges towards assholes that deserve a million punches on their fucking faces, but sometimes, when my patience is tested to the max, I just can’t help it but to express everything out, even if it means I have to use such a hideous language on this space. I have feelings too. :'(

I’m not angry with anyone right now, really. I'm having issues with myself. I’m angry & disappointed with myself, for certain events that have transpired. I need to breathe and get the shit of my imbecilic self out of here.

Tomorrow will be a better day for me, I'll work on it.

P.S. I love today so much you don’t know how I’m trying to get all the snippets of today together in my mind to set my mind straight right now.

2010-09-12T23:54:00.001+08:00

Tuesday come quick, pretty please with a cherry on top!

2010-09-09T22:04:00.004+08:00

Shine like gold and buzz like a bee.

WOOOOOO! Malam raya! Kami sungguh gembira!
(Especially after the phone call, hee!)

Kepada semua,
Selamat Hari Raya, mohon maaf zahir dan batin. :)

2010-09-09T01:56:00.005+08:00

Prime it with a little solitude.

No matter how hard you try to be strong, it’ll all eventually come to you and make you feel so vulnerable like a lost little child. Seeing her cry was so heart shattering. I tried to swallow my emotions in. I tried to be strong in front of her, to assure her that everything would be alright soon. But when she looked away or when I excused myself for a while, I could feel the weight on my tear ducts, yet I inhaled and told myself to get a grip.

I didn’t mind spraining my ankle when she laughed at how clumsy I was to trip into something so huge. Or how silly I looked when I uttered things that don’t make any sense, or how moronic I appeared with the weird expressions I made on my face. Her laughter gave me immeasurable happiness.

The feeling you get after a good cry – I’m feeling it now.
And to the three dearest ones, cheer up. :)

♥

2010-09-06T15:47:00.002+08:00

Like a candy.

He, who told me to look out of my window. He, who sat on his bike by the roadside looking up in the hopes to see yours truly. He, who asked, "Are you gonna make me wait till it rains before I get to see you?" :)

I can't stop smiling now and it's all because of you, N.I.K. :)

2010-09-05T16:56:00.002+08:00

Douchebag gone sick.

Click to enlarge.

I look like a retard, lauging in the library because of this mentally-deranged woman.

2010-09-04T15:42:00.005+08:00

It's beautiful, wonderful.

Remember my watch which died on me last Sunday?
Isk got it fixed! *jumps around with pompom*

And by the way, Step Up 3 3D was the bomb. (Y)

2010-09-03T22:54:00.002+08:00

As soon as I reached home, I hugged my mom, cried on her shoulder and vomitted everything else which was left in my stomach. :'(

2010-09-01T02:17:00.009+08:00

Realisations.

"Nampak?"

"Ya. Gambar-gambar aku yang giler. :') Asal kau tunjok aku?"

"Yelah zub, be the same person. Dont let ppl control kau. Dont let someone's perception of you change your personality. Psl satu orang kau nak sedih. Tak perlu sia pada aku. K dah. I cant think of any other big words."

Wake up, Siti Zubaidah.

Hang in there. You shall battle with your sleepy eyes and stay awake tonight, complete everything and find a way to reach school at 7.

2010-08-30T23:38:00.002+08:00

Lost and never found.

Whenever I grip your hand, there’re a whole lot of words running through my mind, a whole lot of feelings engulfing me. Words which are left unspoken, feelings which are felt alone.

2010-08-29T22:49:00.009+08:00

Road signs and rock songs.

I’m gonna tell you how my Sunday morning went and you will have the honour to judge whether it was brilliant or not –

1) My key got stuck in the lock and I spent around 10 minutes trying to take it out but to no avail. And then came my father who did his magic. Note: I was already behind time to be punctual for Madrasah.

2) I looked at the time and realized that the hand wasn’t moving. My watch died on me. THE WATCH THAT I LOVE SO MUCH DIED ON ME. Imagine how crushed I was. I still wore it anyway.

3) I missed the bus. And the next bus took forever to arrive. I figured I should’ve just walked but I always have a feeling that the bus would make its annoying appearance when I’ve walked twenty steps away from the bus stand. So I waited. Note: It was clear enough that I was already late for Madrasah, nothing I could do, unless a pair of wings miraculously popped out from my arms.

4) I missed the train. Enough said. :(

5 ) It rained as soon as I alighted from the train and I had no brolly with me.

My patience was really tested. Cobaan, I suppose. Madrasah was awesome though. Those two made me laugh like there was no tomorrow. And Shams was being extra hilarious ah, but sooo irritating. (That’s for making my eyes smudged with eyeliner!) Oh, look what the three of us did for the wall decoration:

The one directly above is obviously Shams'. She was out of ideas on what to write and almost resolved to writing "Selamat Hari Raya. Get a life." Hahahahaha! She was really being an ass today, trust me.

Heheheheh. I still love you Shams! <3

Here's a little sneak peek of Raya's preparations:

Ibu's kuih raya for the win!

Now back to mugging.

2010-08-25T23:36:00.003+08:00

When you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Managed to finalise the idea for Design Basics and worked on it while Isk mugged for his law paper. Gosh I've always sucked at design. :/ We ended up ripping a DVD off the library shelf and spending an hour and a half watching Paranormal Activity. Man, now that I've mentioned about it, my mind's beginning to conjure the frightening snippets of the whole show.

I used to sleep with the lights on. Then when I became older I mustered the courage to switch off the lights when I go to sleep. And then, it came to a point whereby I was brave enough to shut my door and go to sleep with the lights switched off. I don't think I'll be able to pull through tonight without the lights switched on and letting the door remain ajar.

Now you know how a scaredy cat I am.

2010-08-23T12:55:00.011+08:00

Because maths is maths and the total stays the same.

Monster’s back in action! In this holy month, I vow to minimize on the mood swings or the uncontrollable high spirits I get into at times. HEHE! Macam paham. >:) By far, I think this is the longest unhealthy period I’ve been in. Putting up with the recurring cough attacks and flu isn’t something good. As if things aren’t bad enough, the horrible cramps have to set in. Ah, the agony!

Silly boy's been feeling under the weather too, with high fever and bad sorethroat. When I told him how bad I felt for spreading it to him, he said, "It's okay, this is the first time I know how I got my sickness from." Hahaha. Silly, as the name implies. :)

Ooooooh HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUMAIRAH! I still remember the celebration in school last year, with the chocolatey kokokrunch cake I baked for you and Aizal! May this coming year brings more reasons for you to smile bigbig! All the best for your promos! :D

Iftar with the clan last Friday! Talking and laughing about those days back in Secondary School, the giry-wirly-giggly talk with Azura and just enjoying each others’ company was euphoric. :)

Ooooh, look at how both my bestmen have grown vertically! They had to tilt their heads down slightly to lessen the vast difference. Denzel even tried taking pictures of me and Aizal from different angles to see if I can appear taller in the photo. "One head shorter." Aiyo thanks ah you guys! Ass betul. Hahaha.

♥